37 weeks

21 days until due date…

…if she’s late I realize that’s perfectly fine because she’s already with us. I may not be able to pick her up and hold her close, but our little miracle has already begun. This chapter of our life has already started. She reminds me she is here each and every morning I wake up and feel those sweet movements, all through the day as I see body parts sticking out and each night as I fall asleep to my little one punching me in the stomach. This time is truly about learning to live in each moment…taking each day at a time and enjoying it for what it is. I’m not saying I’ve learned that lesson but I’m trying to because when Kylin is born I want to know how to slow down and enjoy every moment with her, never dreaming about “When she can…”.

We were supposed to have a doctor’s appointment yesterday but it had to get rescheduled so we will go this Tuesday afternoon. I’m starting to feel more exhausted each day. I have spurts of energy throughout the day but find myself getting more tired. I’m trying to rest up for the “big day”! Lol….not sure you can be rested up!

I’ve been thinking lately how odd it is that we countdown to a day when our lives will be completely changed forever. I have to admit at times I still get a sick feeling in my stomach because I’m scared of the unknowns of bringing my firstborn home. I guess this is normal because there is nothing one can do to completely prepare for the change that is just around the corner. It won’t just be me and Travis anymore. At times this makes me a little sad because we’ve had so much fun enjoying each other and to think about how a baby will change the dynamics. I know it will be different but I know our relationship is deep and strong that we will have fun learning how to adapt to enjoying each other with a little baby girl right in between. I don’t think it will be hard. It’s just the thoughts of things changing in ways you’re unsure of. I’m trying to be honest here. I want to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come from these “prebaby” thoughts and emotions and how God has changed our lives.

The two huskies…God must love these dogs and really want us to have them…ALIVE! They escaped the other day through a wood panel that had been blown loose by the wind. Travis found them but it’s scary every time they get out because they could so easily get hit by a car, picked up by a stranger, or shot because they look like wolves! My stomach always drops when I hear or find out they are missing. We’ve been on a million wild goose chases with these dogs and every time we do whatever it takes to get those two back…they are our babies…for now. I can tell they are getting more sensitive and attention demanding over the past few weeks. It will be interesting to see how they will react to us bringing Kylin home. We’ve already got a plan for how we’ll introduce them, but I have to admit I’m starting to feel guilty. I know they won’t be my first focus anymore. I know I won’t have as much time for them. Anyways, I know it will all be fine…just another “prebaby” emotion to deal with. I’m just so thankful for the love these puppies have given us over the past 3 years. They have brought so much joy to my heart and I think through them God has taught me how to be still and enjoy…these dogs aren’t like regular dogs…they have their own feelings that they display quite boldly! For instance, if they are mad with us, they will still lay near us but completely turn their heads away from us and puff pretty loudly to let us know their thoughts on the matter! When they want attention they couldn’t get closer to one of us and won’t let us stop touching them until they are content. When they sense that one of us is sad they will literally climb into our laps (remember how big these dogs are) and will lay their heads on our shoulders and let us know it will be okay! It will be fun introducing them to their new companion…I think they’re gonna love her!

Until next time...enjoy each moment for what it is! Life is worth it!